Year-Round Halloweeen

I don't like costumes. I'm not talking about Halloween costumes, I've been known to go all out for a good costume party, but the costumes that some members of society wear as a daily statement. The man in Starbucks buying a soy non-fat latte, wearing cowboy boots, cowboy hat and a belt buckle that spells his name in 6" gold letters makes me chuckle inside. The muscle-man who dons motorcycle boots, leather chaps and a cod piece for a stroll through the Castro each Saturday night usually invokes an appreciative glance followed by a roll of my eyes and a mean-spirited smirk.

Perhaps I'm being judgmental, but if you're not chewing tobacco on a ranch in Montana, or riding with the local chapter of the Hells Angels, what's the point? It's just a costume, right?

My First Costume:
Dominick and I went to Palm Springs a few months back. He had been invited to a friends "Leather" party, and everyone had to wear at least one piece of leather. Just so you know, my wardrobe consists of shorts, jeans and t-shirts. Throw in some sweat pants, sweat shirts, underwear, socks, several pair of tennis shoes and hiking boots and you've got the contents of my closet. There may be a dusty suit, and fancy dress shoes in the back too. None of it made from animal hide. I hate clothes shopping.

With the help of my straight girl-friend Nick, who LOVES to shop, I found a nice pair of semi-hiking, semi-motorcycle boats that my jeans hide nicely. I figure I'd wear boots more than, say, a leather vest with chrome nipple-ring hooks. Though a vest would have been easier to haul to Palm Springs.

The day of the party, Dominick and I decided to spend some time by the pool tanning and take advantage of the pool-side food and beverage service. Several cocktails and appetizers later we decide to blow off the party. I pack up my boots, bring them home and put them in my closet next to the fancy dress shoes and dusty suit.

My Second Costume:
A few weeks ago my friend Kyle talked me into Two-Step lessons at a country/western bar in the city. I was surprised to discover that I enjoy it! It's a fun night out, you get a little exercise, and we usually top it off with a huge dinner at a nice restaurant, to compensate for the little exercise.

One problem; When Two-Stepping your feet don't leave the floor. It's important to have leather soles that slide easily. Kyle, being a real rodeo cowboy from Alabama, who wears a belt buckle the size of my ass, and drives a big truck, mentioned this before our first lesson. I searched my closet and, as expected, all my shoes have rubber soles, including the fancy dress shoes in the back by the dusty suit. I pick the pair with what I hope is the least traction and head out for the first lesson. It went well, except for the persistent squeak as I moved about the dance floor.

For the second lesson I decide to wear my new, unused leather boots. This time the squeak was deafening and I spent the night clomping around the floor doing my best not to squeak, which fucked up my timing. I need new shoes. I hate shopping.

It makes sense, if I'm going to keep taking dance lessons at a country western bar, I should buy cowboy boots. Of course I haven't a clue where to buy cowboy boots in the Bay Area, but a quick search of yahoo yellow pages comes up with El Corral Western Wear on International Blvd in Oakland. The very same International Blvd in Oakland where every murder that has ever happened in Oakland, has happened. God I hate shopping!

Amazingly, it's a Doris Day moment and there is parking right in front. After rushing through the entrance and feeling for my wallet (and bullet or knife wounds), I discover a well appointed store with a huge assortment of western wear for men, women and kids. There was country music playing softly, racks of cowboy clothes, walls of cowboy boots and hats, and attentive staff ready to help. It was like walking into the Macy's Cowboy Department. Who knew?

With the help of Marco I picked out a modest pair of reasonably priced cowboy boots with leather soles. At the checkout counter Marco pointed out that they have belts in matching leather. It's an impulse buy, but what the hell, might as well match.

The third lesson went great! Not a squeak to be heard, and I'm actually getting it down. We worked up a good sweat, and ate a reasonable dinner after. The boots took a little breaking in, but are very comfortable so it's turning out to be a win-win. One thing though, the buckle on the belt is made of the same leather and looks stupid. I need a new one. Maybe something in gold with my name...

My Third Costume:
Since buying my new motorcycle I've kept mainly to Alameda and Oakland with a couple jaunts on the freeway for practice. I'm getting much more confident and decided it was time for a weekend road trip. A while back, I had joined a local riding club and met some nice guys willing to take a newbie under their wings. Four of us decided to head up to Balinas Bay Saturday.

During my Safe Rider course they naturally stress protective gear. I have a full face helmet, gloves, hiking boats and a heavy cloth jacket that I wear with jeans. It meets their requirements, but full leathers are recommended. Additionally, several members of the riding club pointed out that; not only does leather offer the best protection, but the best warmth. As our weather has cooled I had indeed noticed that my jeans did very little to keep my legs warm. I need to buy some leathers. I hate shopping...

It was relatively painless to find chaps online; the Motorcycle Superstore has a huge selection of gear at good prices, so I ordered my chaps. Then I got to thinking; how stupid would I look wearing leather chaps and a jean-jacket? And there is a motorcycle jacket that matches the chaps. On the trip to Balinas Bay I was well protected by my new chaps, jacket and boots, and I looked HOT! All I'm missing is a cod-piece for my chaps and I'm ready for the Castro.

Maybe I've been too hard on costumes.